Preach My Problems

Well, I still haven't been on a date. But i'm not going to complain because i've come to realize that fantasizing is so much better. Sure, it's a little weird when I imagine myself with some guy I have never met, but with imagination you can make them have the traits they lack or take a away the flaws they contain. Maybe it seems shallow, but, it's kind of shallow that a man can't ask a lady out.

For instance, sitting in the hall, the LA hall to be specific, The men on the bench next to me are talking extremely loud, which might I add, they weren't doing until I sat down. Are they doing this for attention? Or maybe just to piss everyone off. My definition of them? Tool. Because of their loud and annoying voices, they attract and make fun of anyone/everyone that walks past them. Because of this, there is no wonder that when walking down a hallway by yourself with people sitting on the perimeters of the walls, of course you're going to be self conscious, fiddle with your phone, and awkwardly hold one of your arms across your body. Thus making it more than difficult to land a date because you're portraying yourself as an awkward, self conceded girl that doesn't even want to be approached.

Red

THIS JUST IN:

Single ladies in Provo, looking into a mission are now torn due to Taylor Swifts new CD, Red. Inspiring them that they could maybe get engaged sooner rather than later.


I've actually been more inspired to go. Because she is just proving that there are even more jerks out in the world. Why? Because she came out with another CD.

Just a Dream

I wish it wasn’t too desperate of me to walk into the local target with my graduation ring on my left ring finger just so I can act like I’m buying all these sweets for me and my husband’s “movie” night, when really they’re for me to eat in my dorm while I look at Google images of cute babies and plan my $200,000 wedding on Pinterest, (it’ll really be like $1,000 because my mom is doing everything homemade with the help of the Young Women and Relief Society,) while replaying “Marry Me” by Train and “100 Years” by Five For Fighting. After I hit the point of looking at pictures and pins from the previous night, I then move on to see if Hailey Haugen Devine has posted any more engagement videos, even if she hasn’t I still look at all of them another 20 times until my computer turns off because I am too love drunk and drenched in tear soaked puff tissues to grab my charger. Once it gets to the point of laying in complete darkness, I start using my imagination and dream of all the boys I could see myself marrying, then weigh the pros and cons of each of them until I pick a winner for the night to plan my life with. After we grow old together, I doze off into a hopeless romantic comma and wake up the next morning realizing that it was only just a dream, hence why my alarm clock is, “Just a Dream” by Nelly. 

ANNOUNCEMENT

****An RM Like You music video COMING SOON****

Sister Missionary Battlefield

Due to the recent news from the church, I have recently added filling out my mission papers into every introduction I have with any male I interact with, thinking that maybe they’ll get the hint I’m on a spiritual flow and could be leaving for a year and a half so they better hurry and ask me out and “change” my mind. But, so far it hasn’t worked. I’ve only gotten encouraging responses and things like; “That’s really great, leave as soon as you can!” And “Sister missionaries are AWESOME, you’ll fit in for sure!” followed by their white enhanced tacky yet melting smile that I always fall for until I’m abruptly awaken by drips of hair gel on my bottom lip and Axe body spray congesting my lung passage.

Um okay. Did I do something for you to want me to be deported or are you not getting the hint that I actually just want you to go to Jared? It’s fine though because I realized that I didn’t want to go into young marriage debt because of your costly obsession with Chad Kroeger (lead singer of Nickelback) singles and Family Home Evening dinners at Apple Bee’s and Chuck O’ Rama.

Putting my Shoulder to the Wheel

Enrolling in UVU’s Dating and Courtship Institute class has made me realize how hopeless and pathetic my attempts are at getting a date here. But, it definitely proves how hard I am trying. Like we sing in sacrament meeting “press forward saints,” hence why I have reached the lowest point, dating CLASSES.

The class is simple and self-explanatory. It’s a bunch of 30-year-old RM’s and me, plus a few other hopeless romantics that have been in Provo for 2 months and think that since they haven’t been on a date they are never getting married, or maybe that’s just me. Nonetheless, I am putting my shoulder to the wheel and pushing “alone” and along.

Men out there (more specifically, just in Provo,) what do we [ladies,] have to do in order to be approached or flirted with? I see an attractive male walling down the hall and after ten agonizing minutes of desperate staring and following to the next class I have to kick myself because I need to come to the truths that it will probably never be. 

I mean, if men are fine with me constantly following them until I get the courage to ask for some numeros, then I suppose that’s what I have to do but I hate to be so aggressive that they file for a restraining order before we even exchange names or add each other on Facebook, or more common, I add him on Facebook for the fifth time and he finally accepts. 

An RM Like You...

Last night I couldn’t sleep because I was up all night forcefully dreaming about the new RM in my English class. Just typical thoughts, like; what our kids would be like, how he would propose, how our wedding would be featured in the Ensign, inside jokes with his family, and the playful scenes we would roll play with. But, after reminiscing for about three hours I started to think about a missionary I wish I had…

The tune of Someone Like You

I heard that you're working hard

That you found yourself and you’re converting now

I heard that your prayers came true

Guess Ohio gave you things I didn't give to you

Ohh Elder, why are you so shy?

Ain't like you to not write back or hide from our love

I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited

But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it

I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded

That for me, it isn't over

Never mind, I'll find an RM like you

I wish nothing but the best next two

Don't forget me, I’ll write, I’ll remember, you’ll see

Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead

Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead

You know how the temple’s where

I want to go & we’ll marry in white

We were born and raised in the Latter-Days

Bound by baptism and eternal gaze

I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited

But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it

I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded

That for me, it isn't over yet

Never mind, I'll find an RM like you

I wish nothing but the best next two

Don't forget me, I begged, I remember you said

Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead, yeah

Nothing compares, no fasting or prayers

Regrets and mistakes, they're repentance paid

Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find an RM like you

I wish nothing but the best next two

Don't forget me, I begged, I remember you said

Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead

Never mind, I've FOUND an RM like you

I wish nothing but the best next two

Please forget me, I beg, no more writing I said

Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead

Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead